Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Eating Can Be A Distraction
If you are eating right now because you are hungry, you are feeding your inborn need to nourish your cells. Isn't it great how your mind tells you to eat when you are truly hungry? However, if you are eating right now and you are not hungry, you are probably eating to distract yourself from something else.
Put your fork down and decide what that is.
What did you come up with? Boredom, frustration, sadness, pain...
If you feel any of those emotions, that is OKAY, they are merely inner emotions that tell us something needs to change. Think about the warning lights on the dashboard of your car. Let's say your oil light comes on...what do you do? You have a choice: put in oil, or put in more gas. Perhaps your response is, "Why would I put in gas if the oil light is on?" The answer lies in the reason you put in food "gas" when your "emotional" warning light comes on.
Let's pretend your emotional feeling light comes on and says, "I'm bored" you don't go to the frig and put in more food (if your desire is to have a healthy body) but instead you make a change in your routine or otherwise deal with your boredom.
Emotional feelings are normal, be in touch with them, listen to what they are telling you and respond in a way that is satisfying, but not damaging to your health.
Learn more about emotional eating on Dec 8 at my mini-workshop at the Wellness Institute and Medical Spa 6-7 pm. RSVP 817-358-5880.
Put your fork down and decide what that is.
What did you come up with? Boredom, frustration, sadness, pain...
If you feel any of those emotions, that is OKAY, they are merely inner emotions that tell us something needs to change. Think about the warning lights on the dashboard of your car. Let's say your oil light comes on...what do you do? You have a choice: put in oil, or put in more gas. Perhaps your response is, "Why would I put in gas if the oil light is on?" The answer lies in the reason you put in food "gas" when your "emotional" warning light comes on.
Let's pretend your emotional feeling light comes on and says, "I'm bored" you don't go to the frig and put in more food (if your desire is to have a healthy body) but instead you make a change in your routine or otherwise deal with your boredom.
Emotional feelings are normal, be in touch with them, listen to what they are telling you and respond in a way that is satisfying, but not damaging to your health.
Learn more about emotional eating on Dec 8 at my mini-workshop at the Wellness Institute and Medical Spa 6-7 pm. RSVP 817-358-5880.
Sales. It's A Matter Of Mind. Part Three
Last issue we discussed the Law of Concentrated Attention and how it relates to success in sales, to recap:
What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? The Law of Concentrated Attention states, “What you focus your concentrated attention on, over and over spontaneously tends to become a reality.” Or, another way to say it is: “What you expect to happen, happens.”
Retrain Your Brain
One of my favorite things to teach people is how their thoughts are making them better at something or sometimes worse at something. I’d like to challenge you to do something differently this week: spend time visualizing and imagining the correct outcome of a sales experience
What if you avoid new clients, imagine seeing yourself open and receptive to them. What if you don’t like representing a new product, see yourself absorbing the details of that product like a sponge.
Improvement In Sales Skills
So, why are we able to make behavioral changes by only visualizing an activity? It is because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real and an imagined activity. Imagining, visualizing and hypnotizing your brain creates the SAME response as doing the actual activity. So going back to the Law of Concentrated Attention, doesn’t that make sense?
I would like to point out the difference between the “real activity” and the “hypnotic practice session”. When you are doing the real activity, you are doing it RIGHT and WRONG. Every time visual a sales success you are also creating a new neuralpathway in the brain that support that activity. Your brain doesn't know which one is right or wrong. So as you may have already realized, the fastest improvement in any skill is the repetition of doing it correctly, in your mind. You can certainly use hypnosis to speed up the process.
More next time.
What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? The Law of Concentrated Attention states, “What you focus your concentrated attention on, over and over spontaneously tends to become a reality.” Or, another way to say it is: “What you expect to happen, happens.”
Retrain Your Brain
One of my favorite things to teach people is how their thoughts are making them better at something or sometimes worse at something. I’d like to challenge you to do something differently this week: spend time visualizing and imagining the correct outcome of a sales experience
What if you avoid new clients, imagine seeing yourself open and receptive to them. What if you don’t like representing a new product, see yourself absorbing the details of that product like a sponge.
Improvement In Sales Skills
So, why are we able to make behavioral changes by only visualizing an activity? It is because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real and an imagined activity. Imagining, visualizing and hypnotizing your brain creates the SAME response as doing the actual activity. So going back to the Law of Concentrated Attention, doesn’t that make sense?
I would like to point out the difference between the “real activity” and the “hypnotic practice session”. When you are doing the real activity, you are doing it RIGHT and WRONG. Every time visual a sales success you are also creating a new neuralpathway in the brain that support that activity. Your brain doesn't know which one is right or wrong. So as you may have already realized, the fastest improvement in any skill is the repetition of doing it correctly, in your mind. You can certainly use hypnosis to speed up the process.
More next time.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Fight The Flu With Your Immune System
GUEST ARTICLE FROM
Jennifer McVey RD, LD
Jennmcvey@gmail.com
As the seasons change, leaves become brilliantly colored, holiday lights make there first appearance, and extra joy manifests its way into daily life, nothing can rain on this parade. Then in an instant cold and flu season invade the Holiday spirit and instead of spreading the Holiday cheer we spread the Holiday virus. A top notch immune system is much easier to achieve than you may think. An energy dense, well balanced diet will help you stay above the weather to partake in all of the festivities that are rapidly approaching.
Breakfast is a must. It will jump start the metabolism and provide the brain with glucose to ensure mental astuteness. It is also a great way to feed the body essential nutrients. A whole grain cereal, skim milk or yogurt, and a fresh orange can provide the body with 100% daily value of vitamin C, folate, and about 30% DV of calcium.
Vitamin C is a key antioxidant that may help neutralize free radicals that can cause cell and tissue damage. Long term contributing to the development of cancer and heart disease. Citrus fruits, as well as other fruits and vegetables like berries, tomatoes, melons, and peppers are foods rich in vitamin C.
Folate found in foods such as whole grains, beans, spinach, and fortified grain products may lower homocysteine levels in the blood which may contribute to inflammation. High levels can place you at risk for developing coronary artery disease.
Vitamin B6 is important for the immune system to function effectively. Found in several foods including lean meats, fatty fish, beans, baked potato with the skin, B6 helps to maintain the health of lymphoid organs that make white blood cells to fight infection. B6 is also commonly coined as the anti-allergy vitamin.
Take care of yourself through this allergy and virus season! Always remember to choose nutrient dense foods, maintain a healthy weight, be physically active, minimize stress, and get plenty of sleep.
Jennifer McVey RD, LD
For more information, please contact
Jennmcvey@gmail.com
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sales. It's A Matter Of Mind. Part Two
In my last blog we discussed the two parts of mind and how they work either for or against you in sales and in life, to recap:
The conscious mind’s job is to analyze, rationalize, contemplate and think. I call it THE THINKER.
The subconscious mind’s job is store huge libraries of information, as well as beliefs, habits, memories and the emotions attached to those memories. This part of our mind uses this information to direct our behavior. I call it THE DOER.
So what behavior are you expressing in the area of sales? If it is confident and positive you have no worries; however, if that behavior is self-defeating or counter productive, you may want to consider reprogramming your mind.
As yourself this question: What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? Write it down on paper and get it out of your head.
Now examine what you have written. Let’s say you have written: “I feel it is impossible for me to reach my new quota.” Or, “The new service we offer is too expensive, people these days don’t have enough money for that.”
Just like there are laws of physics, there are laws of mind. The Law of Gravity states, “what comes up, must come down”. One of the Law’s of Mind, the Law of Concentrated Attention states, “what you focus your concentrated attention on, over and over spontaneously tends to become a reality.” Or, another way to say it is: “What you expect to happen, happens.”
Back to your original thought, “it is impossible for me to reach my quota.” If that is your focused thought, that is your result. It’s the law.
There are many books about how to “change your mind and change your life.” They are based on this Law of Mind. Your first step is realizing what you are focusing your attention on and then once conscious of that, begin to shift your thinking to something with a more positive tone. For example, you could say to yourself, “In the past, I’ve been held back by a low quota, this new quota gives me room to expand my abilities and reach new heights.” Notice how different that sounds? Which do you choose? Your mind is awaiting your direction.
More next time.
The conscious mind’s job is to analyze, rationalize, contemplate and think. I call it THE THINKER.
The subconscious mind’s job is store huge libraries of information, as well as beliefs, habits, memories and the emotions attached to those memories. This part of our mind uses this information to direct our behavior. I call it THE DOER.
So what behavior are you expressing in the area of sales? If it is confident and positive you have no worries; however, if that behavior is self-defeating or counter productive, you may want to consider reprogramming your mind.
As yourself this question: What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? Write it down on paper and get it out of your head.
Now examine what you have written. Let’s say you have written: “I feel it is impossible for me to reach my new quota.” Or, “The new service we offer is too expensive, people these days don’t have enough money for that.”
Just like there are laws of physics, there are laws of mind. The Law of Gravity states, “what comes up, must come down”. One of the Law’s of Mind, the Law of Concentrated Attention states, “what you focus your concentrated attention on, over and over spontaneously tends to become a reality.” Or, another way to say it is: “What you expect to happen, happens.”
Back to your original thought, “it is impossible for me to reach my quota.” If that is your focused thought, that is your result. It’s the law.
There are many books about how to “change your mind and change your life.” They are based on this Law of Mind. Your first step is realizing what you are focusing your attention on and then once conscious of that, begin to shift your thinking to something with a more positive tone. For example, you could say to yourself, “In the past, I’ve been held back by a low quota, this new quota gives me room to expand my abilities and reach new heights.” Notice how different that sounds? Which do you choose? Your mind is awaiting your direction.
More next time.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
SALES. IT’S A MATTER OF MIND. Part One
Did you know you have two parts of mind? They are designed to work together, but often they work in opposition. The result? You think one thing, but your actions don’t follow. It’s not the lack of willpower or conscious attention, but rather your subconscious mind's programming that causes you to behave in a way contradictory to your conscious desires.
This is a series of six articles designed to educate you on how your mind works, so you can program your mind to cooperate with you.
CONSCIOUS MIND VS SUBCONSCIOUS MIND
The conscious mind’s job is to analyze, rationalize, contemplate and think. I call it THE THINKER.
The subconscious mind’s job is to not only store huge libraries of information, but also to store beliefs, habits, memories and the emotions attached to those memories. This part of our mind uses this information to express our behavior. I call it THE DOER.
One part thinks the other part’s job is to carry out a thought, which sounds as if it should work; however, our old habits, beliefs and emotions are stronger than our conscious intention. More often than most people realize, the feelings carried in the subconscious can sabotage the conscious mind’s intent, even to land an order.
So how does the subconscious mind become fixated on beliefs and habits that no longer serve us? There are four ways: repetition, an idea presented to us by authority figures, events experienced under intense emotion, and identification with a parent or group.
Basically we are the total of everything we have ever heard, taught, or experienced…and it is all stored in the subconscious mind. The good news is that anything you learned, you can unlearn. Begin today by becoming aware of your thoughts and the subsequent behavior or action. Do they match up? What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? Does your belief system support that thought? More next time.
This is a series of six articles designed to educate you on how your mind works, so you can program your mind to cooperate with you.
CONSCIOUS MIND VS SUBCONSCIOUS MIND
The conscious mind’s job is to analyze, rationalize, contemplate and think. I call it THE THINKER.
The subconscious mind’s job is to not only store huge libraries of information, but also to store beliefs, habits, memories and the emotions attached to those memories. This part of our mind uses this information to express our behavior. I call it THE DOER.
One part thinks the other part’s job is to carry out a thought, which sounds as if it should work; however, our old habits, beliefs and emotions are stronger than our conscious intention. More often than most people realize, the feelings carried in the subconscious can sabotage the conscious mind’s intent, even to land an order.
So how does the subconscious mind become fixated on beliefs and habits that no longer serve us? There are four ways: repetition, an idea presented to us by authority figures, events experienced under intense emotion, and identification with a parent or group.
Basically we are the total of everything we have ever heard, taught, or experienced…and it is all stored in the subconscious mind. The good news is that anything you learned, you can unlearn. Begin today by becoming aware of your thoughts and the subsequent behavior or action. Do they match up? What is your thought right now about your ability to succeed in business and in sales? Does your belief system support that thought? More next time.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
It's time to go back and pick up the girl you left behind.
Transitional experiences can provide the emotional motivation to return to an earlier, much simpler time.One day we are daydreaming about how life will be and the next realization is that we are living a life we barely recognize. Often times 10, 20, 30 or 40 years have passed. The impetus for the transition is often greeted with dread, "oh my God I've lost my job," or "my spouse wants a divorce," these events are often viewed as terrible situations and problems to solve but actually they can be a way out of our robotic lives.
At my recent Women in Transition workshop, 6 incredible women courageously shared "where they'd been-caterpillar phase" and "where they are now-cocoon phase," compared to "where they wanted to be-butterfly phase."
There is a great deal of confusion and fear that comes with change and it was present at the start of the workshop. The good news is, we were all born with the innate ability to be whomever we want to be, our cells have the wisdom to guide us to higher purposes. Remember our minds stop us, but the heart knows.
If you feel you are not living the life you envisioned long ago, follow your heart back and pick up the girl you last saw in your 20s. To do this, consider connecting to a memory of her and writing her a letter, letting her know you miss her and want to reconnect.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
No Time For Improving Your Health?
My recent weight management survey clearly pointed to a "lack of time" as being the number one obstacle to improved health. I think that is because people are not IN LOVE WITH THE BENEFITS OF BEING HEALTHIER.
In order to change anything, our motivation must be there. So, what are your benefits of being healthier? Perhaps it is more energy/stamina, improved self image, live longer/be there for kids and grandkids, feel great, etc.
If any of those outcomes appeal to you, spend 10 minutes listing YOUR TOP BENEFITS FOR (your goal or outcome). Then find a quiet place and imagine them so vividly that they seem to already be happening. This is the absolute best way to spend 10 minutes of each day....seeing, feeling and sensing on what you really want! And when you experience a few minutes of what you really want, you start to get excited about the outcome and the mind automatically works in that direction.
This idea also applies to any behavior you wish to change like improved sales, stress situations, communication, relationship, career moves, nail biting, etc.
What the mind can conceive it will achieve. Use the power of your imagination, see it, feel it, be it!
Try it and let me know how that works for you.
In order to change anything, our motivation must be there. So, what are your benefits of being healthier? Perhaps it is more energy/stamina, improved self image, live longer/be there for kids and grandkids, feel great, etc.
If any of those outcomes appeal to you, spend 10 minutes listing YOUR TOP BENEFITS FOR (your goal or outcome). Then find a quiet place and imagine them so vividly that they seem to already be happening. This is the absolute best way to spend 10 minutes of each day....seeing, feeling and sensing on what you really want! And when you experience a few minutes of what you really want, you start to get excited about the outcome and the mind automatically works in that direction.
This idea also applies to any behavior you wish to change like improved sales, stress situations, communication, relationship, career moves, nail biting, etc.
What the mind can conceive it will achieve. Use the power of your imagination, see it, feel it, be it!
Try it and let me know how that works for you.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Why I can't dance.
Or why I don't dance well.
The power of suggestion, a suggestion I received at a young impressionable age by someone in an authority position still has an effect on me more than 30 years later.
What has the message? "It is a sin to dance" that was what I was taught in church. And to this day, I have an inability to relax and really allow myself to feel the beat and move my body.
For awhile I just thought it was a lack of training, coordination and confidence. But I have taken classes, (yoga has helped the most in freeing the body), but last night going to a class on how to Salsa, I was nearly sick at my stomach....but I went.
The result? Well I did it, went through the motions as well as most, but what I noticed I couldn't do was move my arms and hips like the others, they were really feeling it, I was just going through the steps. So on the drive home I began to really think on that and realized I was experiencing the powerful effect of direct suggestion. Now, the conscious mind can rationalize that of course dancing isn't a sin, but deep in the subconscious there is a belief that it is. As a hypnotist I see this in my clients all the time and am always amazed at how a small statement from an authority figure delivered to a children 10 or younger has profound, lasting effect.
Removing the belief.
Beliefs can be changed. I am working on changing mine by thinking that I have never actually seen anyone dancing burst in to hell-like flames, or be otherwise cast-out. They always look so free and happy to me, not at all like they were guilty sinners.
The big sin for me was leaving poor Alec E on the dance floor in high school..I promised to dance with him to that popular Bad Company song and panicked and hid from him...still feel a little guilty to this day about that, so sorry Alec.
Changing that belief will require giving myself permission to make an adult decision about what I want to do (weighing consequences if there are any). And then getting in touch with that free spirit part that knows how to move and allowing her to groove. Dance training and practice are also helpful.
Keep in mind the power of direction suggestion, whenever a person is young and impressionable, experiencing deep emotion, or hurt physically anything you say bypasses the critical factor of the conscious mind and goes straight for the subconscious where is stays until released or transformed.
The power of suggestion, a suggestion I received at a young impressionable age by someone in an authority position still has an effect on me more than 30 years later.
What has the message? "It is a sin to dance" that was what I was taught in church. And to this day, I have an inability to relax and really allow myself to feel the beat and move my body.
For awhile I just thought it was a lack of training, coordination and confidence. But I have taken classes, (yoga has helped the most in freeing the body), but last night going to a class on how to Salsa, I was nearly sick at my stomach....but I went.
The result? Well I did it, went through the motions as well as most, but what I noticed I couldn't do was move my arms and hips like the others, they were really feeling it, I was just going through the steps. So on the drive home I began to really think on that and realized I was experiencing the powerful effect of direct suggestion. Now, the conscious mind can rationalize that of course dancing isn't a sin, but deep in the subconscious there is a belief that it is. As a hypnotist I see this in my clients all the time and am always amazed at how a small statement from an authority figure delivered to a children 10 or younger has profound, lasting effect.
Removing the belief.
Beliefs can be changed. I am working on changing mine by thinking that I have never actually seen anyone dancing burst in to hell-like flames, or be otherwise cast-out. They always look so free and happy to me, not at all like they were guilty sinners.
The big sin for me was leaving poor Alec E on the dance floor in high school..I promised to dance with him to that popular Bad Company song and panicked and hid from him...still feel a little guilty to this day about that, so sorry Alec.
Changing that belief will require giving myself permission to make an adult decision about what I want to do (weighing consequences if there are any). And then getting in touch with that free spirit part that knows how to move and allowing her to groove. Dance training and practice are also helpful.
Keep in mind the power of direction suggestion, whenever a person is young and impressionable, experiencing deep emotion, or hurt physically anything you say bypasses the critical factor of the conscious mind and goes straight for the subconscious where is stays until released or transformed.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Reveal Your Adventurous Side, I Did.
I never expected to be swimming in a dark cave on Christmas morning. My son Preston and I didn't know what to expect during that long bus ride through the heart of the Cayo district. When we arrived the guide led us through the jungle for about 45 minutes on foot. Then he handed out helmets with headlamps, jumped in the water up to his chest and said, "let's go, stay close behind!" Three hours later we emerged into the sun and ate a fabulous lunch....it very challenging physically and mentally, the darkness plays tricks with the senses.
The next day we paddled to San Ignacio, about 2 hours away from the river camp where we were staying. Talk about intimidating...floating down the river in Central America heading for a town we never had been and the only directions where to exit the river at the "concrete block on the left." My son and I did it and had the best tacos in a little place most people in Dallas would never dare go in. I love allowing my adventurous side to come out in Belize.
This year I heading back to Belize with Dawn Heyl. She and I are leading a tour beginning Oct 22, it is too late to join us for this one, but we will bring you updates of our experience.
The next day we paddled to San Ignacio, about 2 hours away from the river camp where we were staying. Talk about intimidating...floating down the river in Central America heading for a town we never had been and the only directions where to exit the river at the "concrete block on the left." My son and I did it and had the best tacos in a little place most people in Dallas would never dare go in. I love allowing my adventurous side to come out in Belize.
This year I heading back to Belize with Dawn Heyl. She and I are leading a tour beginning Oct 22, it is too late to join us for this one, but we will bring you updates of our experience.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Pushing My Buttons
It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it punches my button really hard.
What is it? Finding myself working with someone that reminds me of my......ex-husband!
Ouch right in the gut (the power center of the body!) I couldn't quite put my finger on it at first. There were these annoyances that led me to behave in a very old, non-production style..."I was not very nice" and certainly not the "me" I know.
So, there seems to be two schools of thought on the best way to handle these uncomfortable situations:
1) use this situation to learn a new behavior
Here is a process I use with clients:
I chose the first one and it was very much like marriage counseling again, "when you do this, I feel..." But after I explained to him that it was really important for me to have someone listen, he admitted he hadn't been very engaged. He apologized and I suggested new methods to help keep him focused.
Going forward I am going be very aware of my basic need: to have someone pay attention when talking. If this need isn't getting met, I can choose to make it known to the person otherwise preoccupied or, let it fester until...
So which method do you use when confronted with difficult people? I'd love to hear them.
What is it? Finding myself working with someone that reminds me of my......ex-husband!
Ouch right in the gut (the power center of the body!) I couldn't quite put my finger on it at first. There were these annoyances that led me to behave in a very old, non-production style..."I was not very nice" and certainly not the "me" I know.
So, there seems to be two schools of thought on the best way to handle these uncomfortable situations:
1) use this situation to learn a new behavior
Here is a process I use with clients:
- what am I feeling? (really annoyed)
- why do I feel this way (I am not being listened to, have to repeat myself)
- could this be an old feeling? (absolutely, Dad wasn't too good at that)
- new thought and response (this isn't Dad, it is okay to express to this person what my needs are)
I chose the first one and it was very much like marriage counseling again, "when you do this, I feel..." But after I explained to him that it was really important for me to have someone listen, he admitted he hadn't been very engaged. He apologized and I suggested new methods to help keep him focused.
Going forward I am going be very aware of my basic need: to have someone pay attention when talking. If this need isn't getting met, I can choose to make it known to the person otherwise preoccupied or, let it fester until...
So which method do you use when confronted with difficult people? I'd love to hear them.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Deadline approaching
Aug 20 is it.The last chance to make you reservation for our trip to Belize and our rain forest vacation.
6 other women have make the decision...some of them without jobs, some not sure how they'll pay the balance...but they know that they will return from the trip transformed and there is no price to put on that.
Won't you join us?
Send an email to YourMindCoach@verizon.net to reserve your spot.
We will send you the registration packet.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Fear of the Unknown
For one week my electric bill lay on the counter, unopened.
Today was the day. I was going to face it, open it and trust I would have the $$ to make the payment which was now due on the 22nd.
My stomach in knots I opened the envelope, hoping for a miracle.
The amount due.......$150.00 (miracle delivered)
$150? is that all? What? $150 in this heat! WOW, only $150. I have $150. No big deal.
Just think if I had opened that a week ago I wouldn't have dreamed that the bill was $850 because my unit is sooooo old an inefficient, or regretted not putting insulation in, or not having the AC unit serviced in XX years or feeling stupid for signing up with Green Mountain, which locked me in at a rate higher then they are now quoting.
How my little monkey mind sure runs wild. The next time the bill comes I am going to open it the day it arrives and rejoice that I have any AC at all!!!
Have you opened yours?
Today was the day. I was going to face it, open it and trust I would have the $$ to make the payment which was now due on the 22nd.
My stomach in knots I opened the envelope, hoping for a miracle.
The amount due.......$150.00 (miracle delivered)
$150? is that all? What? $150 in this heat! WOW, only $150. I have $150. No big deal.
Just think if I had opened that a week ago I wouldn't have dreamed that the bill was $850 because my unit is sooooo old an inefficient, or regretted not putting insulation in, or not having the AC unit serviced in XX years or feeling stupid for signing up with Green Mountain, which locked me in at a rate higher then they are now quoting.
How my little monkey mind sure runs wild. The next time the bill comes I am going to open it the day it arrives and rejoice that I have any AC at all!!!
Have you opened yours?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Guilt and overindulging
So a few of my friends have recently expressed guilt over their past indulgences in sweets, comfort foods, booze or sexual activities (okay the first one was mine). Remember this: it matters less about what you are indulging in or why and matters more about how we feel afterward. What pulls us into a pit of despair is our guilt about how we feel about what we have done...not the cake at the bottom of our belly or the empty wine bottles.
I'm not saying to not work on why we are over-enjoying (I'll get to that in another blog), but first let's talk more about guilt.
Guilt vs Shame
Let me make something clear: guilt is about "what you did"; shame is about "who you are."
Also, there is healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt as well as healthy shame and unhealthy shame.
And guilt can lead to shame. In John Bradshaw's book, "The Shame That Binds," he states, "Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits. Like all emotions healthy shame is an energy-in-motion. Like all emotions it moves us to get our basic needs met."
I believe the same could be said about guilt.
Healthy guilt causes us to consider not doing something again, or at least that is how it is supposed to work. But it is a cycle we experience over and over. It seems we never remember that feeling and we are off again in the "land of overindulgence." But, what if when we are feeling guilty, we could just forgive ourselves...just give ourselves permission to enjoy "a little something" from time to time, to partake in the pleasure (as long as they are not coming from a position of harm) without the guilt. I bet you would find that if you usually eat a chocolate bar and your face breaks out, it is the guilt that is causes the break out, not the chocolate. Next time you have a desire for something sweet, enjoy it in moderation and with awareness.
Have you heard of those frozen guilt-free deserts, that manufacturer/marketer was on to something.....now, where are my M&Ms?
I'm not saying to not work on why we are over-enjoying (I'll get to that in another blog), but first let's talk more about guilt.
Guilt vs Shame
Let me make something clear: guilt is about "what you did"; shame is about "who you are."
Also, there is healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt as well as healthy shame and unhealthy shame.
And guilt can lead to shame. In John Bradshaw's book, "The Shame That Binds," he states, "Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits. Like all emotions healthy shame is an energy-in-motion. Like all emotions it moves us to get our basic needs met."
I believe the same could be said about guilt.
Healthy guilt causes us to consider not doing something again, or at least that is how it is supposed to work. But it is a cycle we experience over and over. It seems we never remember that feeling and we are off again in the "land of overindulgence." But, what if when we are feeling guilty, we could just forgive ourselves...just give ourselves permission to enjoy "a little something" from time to time, to partake in the pleasure (as long as they are not coming from a position of harm) without the guilt. I bet you would find that if you usually eat a chocolate bar and your face breaks out, it is the guilt that is causes the break out, not the chocolate. Next time you have a desire for something sweet, enjoy it in moderation and with awareness.
Have you heard of those frozen guilt-free deserts, that manufacturer/marketer was on to something.....now, where are my M&Ms?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Michael Jackson Died Of A Broken Heart.
Michael Jackson is brilliant. I admire him and his creative process. Unfortunately Michael was also a star and everything he ever did was brought out in public to be judged. He was also troubled and could never get ahead of it. I heard a few people say that now he is gone the children are safer...do you really think so? Let's remember him for his talent and the good he did for so many and for all the songs that still play on in our heads.
Perhaps Michael died of a broken heart, perhaps all he wanted to do was make music to make others happy. To free his spirit now, consider releasing him from our judgment of him, let's forgive him for anything he did consciously or unconsciously to hurt or offend and in doing so we can forgive ourselves for anything we've done to hurt him or others.
Forgiveness has tremendous power, even in death. His heart cried out: Let's free Michael to sing from his heart without judgment. Let him know he made a difference. Peace to you dear brother.
Perhaps Michael died of a broken heart, perhaps all he wanted to do was make music to make others happy. To free his spirit now, consider releasing him from our judgment of him, let's forgive him for anything he did consciously or unconsciously to hurt or offend and in doing so we can forgive ourselves for anything we've done to hurt him or others.
Forgiveness has tremendous power, even in death. His heart cried out: Let's free Michael to sing from his heart without judgment. Let him know he made a difference. Peace to you dear brother.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Awakening Your Senses in Belize
Caving in Belize.
Each day of the tour our guests will experience one of the five senses in an extraordinary way. On Friday, when we tour the cave, we will explore the sense of touch. And bring awareness to mind of how the rocks feel, how the ground feels under our bare feet, how the dampness or coolness of the cave feels...expanding that into an emotional feeling and feeling of appreciation for our bodies, ourselves and others.
Travel with us to Belize October 22-27 and experience the sense of touch in a completely new way that will lead you to discover a new part of yourself.
$1999 (includes airfare, accommodations, ground transportation, tour fees and most meals), $2199 after 6/30/09, so send you $100 deposit today. Contact Dawn Heyl at dawnheylskincare@tx.rr.com
Submitted by c0-host for the tour, Valerie Grimes. 
I am ecstatic about being a “tour buddy” for a group who wants to expand their experiences with the Maya peoples of Central America, as Belize is such a diverse country. We will visit the famed ruins and travel back to ancient times exploring breath-taking caves, and we will spend a day with local medicine woman, Dr. Rosita Arvigo, to learn about the healing plants of the rain forest and to experience a Maya ritual bath which is an integral and revered part of indigenous Maya medical practices and village life. Adults and children are regularly bathed in water infused with sacred plants and prayers to ensure their emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being, and you can experience this with us first hand! This trip will be five unforgettable days of realizing and becoming all that you are with your five senses being tantalized to the max!
Don’t miss this life changing experience.
Dawn Heyl
Your Trip Host
October 22-27, 2009, departs from DFW Airport.
For more info: dawnheylskincare@tx.rr.com
Each day of the tour our guests will experience one of the five senses in an extraordinary way. On Friday, when we tour the cave, we will explore the sense of touch. And bring awareness to mind of how the rocks feel, how the ground feels under our bare feet, how the dampness or coolness of the cave feels...expanding that into an emotional feeling and feeling of appreciation for our bodies, ourselves and others.
Travel with us to Belize October 22-27 and experience the sense of touch in a completely new way that will lead you to discover a new part of yourself.
$1999 (includes airfare, accommodations, ground transportation, tour fees and most meals), $2199 after 6/30/09, so send you $100 deposit today. Contact Dawn Heyl at dawnheylskincare@tx.rr.com
Submitted by c0-host for the tour, Valerie Grimes.
Date Set for Discover Belize. Rediscover Yourself Trip.
I am ecstatic about being a “tour buddy” for a group who wants to expand their experiences with the Maya peoples of Central America, as Belize is such a diverse country. We will visit the famed ruins and travel back to ancient times exploring breath-taking caves, and we will spend a day with local medicine woman, Dr. Rosita Arvigo, to learn about the healing plants of the rain forest and to experience a Maya ritual bath which is an integral and revered part of indigenous Maya medical practices and village life. Adults and children are regularly bathed in water infused with sacred plants and prayers to ensure their emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being, and you can experience this with us first hand! This trip will be five unforgettable days of realizing and becoming all that you are with your five senses being tantalized to the max!Don’t miss this life changing experience.
Dawn Heyl
Your Trip Host
October 22-27, 2009, departs from DFW Airport.
For more info: dawnheylskincare@tx.rr.com
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Instructions for Life
Today I was cleaning my house and the following information on how to best take advantage of our human experience came to me. Perhaps you can consider applying them to your own life.
They are amazingly simple, yet extremely complex:
I'll end today with this quote, from a 17th century poet:
They are amazingly simple, yet extremely complex:
- Forgive Others/Self
- Forget
- Love
- Peace
- Heaven
I'll end today with this quote, from a 17th century poet:
George Herbert
He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which
he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven;
for everyone has need to be forgiven.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
5/26/09
Valerie A. Grimes
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness
And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
When clients visit me for a hypnosis session, it is usually after they have tried many other methods to relieve their emotional pain and are now ready to work on their failed relationship, addiction, feelings of anxiety or low self-esteem. Our process consists of four distinct phases required to bring about change that must be conducted in this order:
1) Discovery of Cause (Why Do I Feel Anxious? etc)
2) Emotional Release (Giving Voice to Inner Child)
3) Forgiveness (of Self or Others)
4) Re-learning (Placement of new belief system and process for strengthening)
However, where I see progress bogging down is with the third step -- the process of forgiveness to ourselves and/or others. Most clients want to skip the part about forgiveness and just get to the part where their life changes and they can be happy. Not going to happen.
We hear a lot about the benefits of forgiveness through DVDs, CDs, podcasts and books on the subject. But don’t those resentment gurus know how hard it is? Yes, but they also know it is possible, or they wouldn’t suggest it. Holding resentments affect the body’s ability to thrive. And, if one desires to improve one’s chances of being healthy, then releasing this resentment can free the body from stress and give them a sense of accomplishment, as feelings centered around an old experience begin to change. By letting the energy that was tied up in the resentment be redirected toward constructive decisions, one get closer to the kind of life one wants to live. And that is a lovely thing.
Effects of not forgiving
If you are experiencing regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment and sometimes even revenge, it is an indication of the need for forgiveness. If left alone, these feelings cause chemical reactions creating depression, physical ailments, chronic pain and suppression of the immune system. (For more on this, read: “Molecules of Emotion,” by Candace Pert). I have witnessed clients in various stages of cancer, all with the same common negative emotion – resentment. “The Course In Miracles” states, “All disease comes from a state of un-forgiveness.” Our lives just can’t flow freely when we hold onto resentment.
However, through forgiveness therapy, memories become powerless and no longer generate feelings of anger, rate, frustration, depression and resentment.
Making true peace possible.
I can’t confront the person.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the person has to confront the perpetrator; forgiveness exists in the heart of the forgiver.
Emmit Fox created a visualization which places the person you want to forgive on stage, receiving praise from the audience, seeing them happy and full of confidence and sureness -- I’ve used this one before and I am amazed at how the client can get to this point especially considering some of the acts of the perpetrator. But to see one visualizing this person receiving love and praise is almost as if one can feel the room get warmer as the heart melts and opens into a state of true forgiveness. Keep in mind this is a process and it not usually achieved in one or two sessions. (Darn, there is really no magic hypnotic wand). The client only gets to this point after they have released anger and frustration and feel safe enough to do so.
Is the Law of Attraction Working For You?
Positive Self Talk and Affirmations won’t work unless accompanied by emotions that match the beliefs that are already in the subconscious. Orison S. Marden, the father of the success movement, states, “Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” Hypnosis is a rapid method for matching thoughts to desires and desires to thoughts, so the Law of Attraction can work in a positive way.
Hypnotherapy facilitates true healing by releasing buried emotions and gives the client freedom to experience the person they truly are. One doesn’t need to know how, just willing and pick up the phone and call me.
www.valeriegrimes.com
Valerie A. Grimes
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness
And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
When clients visit me for a hypnosis session, it is usually after they have tried many other methods to relieve their emotional pain and are now ready to work on their failed relationship, addiction, feelings of anxiety or low self-esteem. Our process consists of four distinct phases required to bring about change that must be conducted in this order:
1) Discovery of Cause (Why Do I Feel Anxious? etc)
2) Emotional Release (Giving Voice to Inner Child)
3) Forgiveness (of Self or Others)
4) Re-learning (Placement of new belief system and process for strengthening)
However, where I see progress bogging down is with the third step -- the process of forgiveness to ourselves and/or others. Most clients want to skip the part about forgiveness and just get to the part where their life changes and they can be happy. Not going to happen.
We hear a lot about the benefits of forgiveness through DVDs, CDs, podcasts and books on the subject. But don’t those resentment gurus know how hard it is? Yes, but they also know it is possible, or they wouldn’t suggest it. Holding resentments affect the body’s ability to thrive. And, if one desires to improve one’s chances of being healthy, then releasing this resentment can free the body from stress and give them a sense of accomplishment, as feelings centered around an old experience begin to change. By letting the energy that was tied up in the resentment be redirected toward constructive decisions, one get closer to the kind of life one wants to live. And that is a lovely thing.
Effects of not forgiving
If you are experiencing regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment and sometimes even revenge, it is an indication of the need for forgiveness. If left alone, these feelings cause chemical reactions creating depression, physical ailments, chronic pain and suppression of the immune system. (For more on this, read: “Molecules of Emotion,” by Candace Pert). I have witnessed clients in various stages of cancer, all with the same common negative emotion – resentment. “The Course In Miracles” states, “All disease comes from a state of un-forgiveness.” Our lives just can’t flow freely when we hold onto resentment.
However, through forgiveness therapy, memories become powerless and no longer generate feelings of anger, rate, frustration, depression and resentment.
Making true peace possible.
I can’t confront the person.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the person has to confront the perpetrator; forgiveness exists in the heart of the forgiver.
Emmit Fox created a visualization which places the person you want to forgive on stage, receiving praise from the audience, seeing them happy and full of confidence and sureness -- I’ve used this one before and I am amazed at how the client can get to this point especially considering some of the acts of the perpetrator. But to see one visualizing this person receiving love and praise is almost as if one can feel the room get warmer as the heart melts and opens into a state of true forgiveness. Keep in mind this is a process and it not usually achieved in one or two sessions. (Darn, there is really no magic hypnotic wand). The client only gets to this point after they have released anger and frustration and feel safe enough to do so.
Is the Law of Attraction Working For You?
Positive Self Talk and Affirmations won’t work unless accompanied by emotions that match the beliefs that are already in the subconscious. Orison S. Marden, the father of the success movement, states, “Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” Hypnosis is a rapid method for matching thoughts to desires and desires to thoughts, so the Law of Attraction can work in a positive way.
Hypnotherapy facilitates true healing by releasing buried emotions and gives the client freedom to experience the person they truly are. One doesn’t need to know how, just willing and pick up the phone and call me.
www.valeriegrimes.com
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The Lover's Shopping List
When you go to the store,
please don’t forget to pick up
some things for the one you love.
Intimacy is high on my list,
but it is also high on the shelf
and on one of those less frequented
isles with the canning
goods and boxes of barley.
You have to work to find it.
Forgiveness is a staple you
can’t do without. But is has
to be the pure stuff, the most
sincere form of forgiveness
the store has to offer.
Lightheartedness is always
good to have on hand, it
helps ease those tense moments
and turn them into laughter.
Better get a dozen of these.
Goodness and Love are a
combination that are marketed
in several ways, but the most
heartfelt kind begins with
our Creator who is goodness
and love, so you have to buy
this a special store.
(I hope you don’t mind making the
extra stop)
valerie grimes
9/20/98
please don’t forget to pick up
some things for the one you love.
Intimacy is high on my list,
but it is also high on the shelf
and on one of those less frequented
isles with the canning
goods and boxes of barley.
You have to work to find it.
Forgiveness is a staple you
can’t do without. But is has
to be the pure stuff, the most
sincere form of forgiveness
the store has to offer.
Lightheartedness is always
good to have on hand, it
helps ease those tense moments
and turn them into laughter.
Better get a dozen of these.
Goodness and Love are a
combination that are marketed
in several ways, but the most
heartfelt kind begins with
our Creator who is goodness
and love, so you have to buy
this a special store.
(I hope you don’t mind making the
extra stop)
valerie grimes
9/20/98
Why do I feel so anxious?
A client last week asked the question, "Why do I feel so anxious?" He was to the point that this anxiety was interfering with his new relationship and his job as well as decisions about basic human experiences. Anxiety is the habit of exaggerating the possibility of danger out of proportion. The this case, the client had a very old feeling of "the fear of being left alone". And what he constantly did was try and keep people close to him, so he didn't have to experience it (the feeling of being alone). Since he experienced this initial feeling of "the fear of being left alone" at a very early age, it never got an outlet so his body stayed in a state of emergency which resulted in anxious feelings.
What I did in the hypnosis session was use regression to follow the feeling back to the source of its origin, from there, he discovered that the fear was actually unfounded. He realized he was really never left alone. This is the true meaning of the word "phobia"...the fear of the fear.
If you have anxious feelings explore the fact that you can be experiencing the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of criticism. Fear is a warning system in the body and needs to be released. This can be accomplished through hypnosis, insight therapies and perhaps meditation.
What I did in the hypnosis session was use regression to follow the feeling back to the source of its origin, from there, he discovered that the fear was actually unfounded. He realized he was really never left alone. This is the true meaning of the word "phobia"...the fear of the fear.
If you have anxious feelings explore the fact that you can be experiencing the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of criticism. Fear is a warning system in the body and needs to be released. This can be accomplished through hypnosis, insight therapies and perhaps meditation.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Change Your Thought, Change Your Mind.
I'm sure you have heard the term, Change Your Thought, Change Your Mind. I was watching "What The Bleep" again last night...it has been a few years, I love the scientific explanation how our brains are hard-wired to keep repeating the same patterns. One way to change that wiring is to become aware of the behavior or emotion and then to choose a different response (the basis of the movie). A smoking cessation client recently had success in this area, but it took him 3 months to do the reprogramming. The term Change Your Thought, Change Your Mind sounds instantaneous and it is to some degree, there is a shift, but it takes dedication to that process to have the reprogramming completely take effect. So, keep doing the correction you will get there. A canoe is always drifting off course, but with consistent steering corrections it gets down river and so will you.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Need to reduce stress? You can use your body or your mind.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that yoga studios are almost as common as Starbucks. And I’m sure you’ve heard yoga is very beneficial for stress reduction among other health benefits including improved circulation, reduced heart rate and muscle tone. And it is.
However, if you’ve tried yoga and it isn’t for you, there is another method that you can do in your sleep. Yes, you can reduce your stress and reduce anxiety while you sleep with hypnosis.
Hypnosis is known to improve health, here is an excerpt from Time Magazine (September 27, 2004) “A growing body of research supports the ancient practice (of Hypnosis) as an effective tool in the treatment of a variety of problems from anxiety to chronic pain. Rather than taking away one’s control, it enhances a person’s control, teaching them how to control aspects of their body’s function and sensation that they thought they couldn’t. Hypnosis is a form of highly focused attention-an induced state of mind that enables people to alter they way the perceive and process reality.
Studies using positron emission tomography (PET) have looked at what goes on in the brain during hypnosis. In one subject their hands were immersed in painfully hot water, but were told it was comfortably warm. This not only altered their perception of the pain but also altered blood flow in pain related parts of the brain.”
So, if time isn’t on your side or you find yoga too difficult but you need to reduce the stress or anxiety in your life, hypnosis may be an alternative.
However, if you’ve tried yoga and it isn’t for you, there is another method that you can do in your sleep. Yes, you can reduce your stress and reduce anxiety while you sleep with hypnosis.
Hypnosis is known to improve health, here is an excerpt from Time Magazine (September 27, 2004) “A growing body of research supports the ancient practice (of Hypnosis) as an effective tool in the treatment of a variety of problems from anxiety to chronic pain. Rather than taking away one’s control, it enhances a person’s control, teaching them how to control aspects of their body’s function and sensation that they thought they couldn’t. Hypnosis is a form of highly focused attention-an induced state of mind that enables people to alter they way the perceive and process reality.
Studies using positron emission tomography (PET) have looked at what goes on in the brain during hypnosis. In one subject their hands were immersed in painfully hot water, but were told it was comfortably warm. This not only altered their perception of the pain but also altered blood flow in pain related parts of the brain.”
So, if time isn’t on your side or you find yoga too difficult but you need to reduce the stress or anxiety in your life, hypnosis may be an alternative.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
OVERCOMING ANXIETY IN AN ANXIOUS WORLD
OVERCOMING ANXIETY IN AN ANXIOUS WORLD
You can take pills to control the anxiety, depression and fear coming from challenges of these tough economic times. Or you might choose alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs. But did you know there are far healthier and more effective ways to deal with everything being thrown at us today? The alternative is mind control, a process of training your mind to respond in a way that is based on your choice…but how do you make the jump to the other side?
DO YOU HAVE A FEAR OF FEELING?
The first step is the step that usually we want to skip…why? Because the first step can be painful, please note, I’ve emphasized Can. So what is the first step? It is feeling. Stopping and feeling. To stop running from what we are trying not to feel and stopping and feeling the emotion that we are working so hard not to feel. Our subconscious mind works to avoid things that are painful and to seek things that offer us pleasure. However this is a downward spiral, because the “drug” of choice never has the power to take away the source of the anxiety. But your mind does. I teach self-hypnosis to enable us to stop, feel, discover and transform. We have the power to transform our reality, what stops us is our fear. Life can be free and easy, it is not meant to be a struggle. If you are struggling, learn a new skill, the skill of mind control through self-hypnosis. Others use meditation, group therapy, insight therapies, or yoga to achieve similar results. No matter what healthy alternative you use, consider making the jump to the other side…and see what a difference it makes on your outlook and your health.
You can take pills to control the anxiety, depression and fear coming from challenges of these tough economic times. Or you might choose alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs. But did you know there are far healthier and more effective ways to deal with everything being thrown at us today? The alternative is mind control, a process of training your mind to respond in a way that is based on your choice…but how do you make the jump to the other side?
DO YOU HAVE A FEAR OF FEELING?
The first step is the step that usually we want to skip…why? Because the first step can be painful, please note, I’ve emphasized Can. So what is the first step? It is feeling. Stopping and feeling. To stop running from what we are trying not to feel and stopping and feeling the emotion that we are working so hard not to feel. Our subconscious mind works to avoid things that are painful and to seek things that offer us pleasure. However this is a downward spiral, because the “drug” of choice never has the power to take away the source of the anxiety. But your mind does. I teach self-hypnosis to enable us to stop, feel, discover and transform. We have the power to transform our reality, what stops us is our fear. Life can be free and easy, it is not meant to be a struggle. If you are struggling, learn a new skill, the skill of mind control through self-hypnosis. Others use meditation, group therapy, insight therapies, or yoga to achieve similar results. No matter what healthy alternative you use, consider making the jump to the other side…and see what a difference it makes on your outlook and your health.
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