Why I can't dance.

Or why I don't dance well.

The power of suggestion, a suggestion I received at a young impressionable age by someone in an authority position still has an effect on me more than 30 years later.

What has the message? "It is a sin to dance" that was what I was taught in church. And to this day, I have an inability to relax and really allow myself to feel the beat and move my body.

For awhile I just thought it was a lack of training, coordination and confidence. But I have taken classes, (yoga has helped the most in freeing the body), but last night going to a class on how to Salsa, I was nearly sick at my stomach....but I went.

The result? Well I did it, went through the motions as well as most, but what I noticed I couldn't do was move my arms and hips like the others, they were really feeling it, I was just going through the steps. So on the drive home I began to really think on that and realized I was experiencing the powerful effect of direct suggestion. Now, the conscious mind can rationalize that of course dancing isn't a sin, but deep in the subconscious there is a belief that it is. As a hypnotist I see this in my clients all the time and am always amazed at how a small statement from an authority figure delivered to a children 10 or younger has profound, lasting effect.

Removing the belief.

Beliefs can be changed. I am working on changing mine by thinking that I have never actually seen anyone dancing burst in to hell-like flames, or be otherwise cast-out. They always look so free and happy to me, not at all like they were guilty sinners.

The big sin for me was leaving poor Alec E on the dance floor in high school..I promised to dance with him to that popular Bad Company song and panicked and hid from him...still feel a little guilty to this day about that, so sorry Alec.

Changing that belief will require giving myself permission to make an adult decision about what I want to do (weighing consequences if there are any). And then getting in touch with that free spirit part that knows how to move and allowing her to groove. Dance training and practice are also helpful.

Keep in mind the power of direction suggestion, whenever a person is young and impressionable, experiencing deep emotion, or hurt physically anything you say bypasses the critical factor of the conscious mind and goes straight for the subconscious where is stays until released or transformed.

Reveal Your Adventurous Side, I Did.

I never expected to be swimming in a dark cave on Christmas morning. My son Preston and I didn't know what to expect during that long bus ride through the heart of the Cayo district. When we arrived the guide led us through the jungle for about 45 minutes on foot. Then he handed out helmets with headlamps, jumped in the water up to his chest and said, "let's go, stay close behind!" Three hours later we emerged into the sun and ate a fabulous lunch....it very challenging physically and mentally, the darkness plays tricks with the senses.

The next day we paddled to San Ignacio, about 2 hours away from the river camp where we were staying. Talk about intimidating...floating down the river in Central America heading for a town we never had been and the only directions where to exit the river at the "concrete block on the left." My son and I did it and had the best tacos in a little place most people in Dallas would never dare go in. I love allowing my adventurous side to come out in Belize.

This year I heading back to Belize with Dawn Heyl. She and I are leading a tour beginning Oct 22, it is too late to join us for this one, but we will bring you updates of our experience.

Pushing My Buttons

It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it punches my button really hard.

What is it? Finding myself working with someone that reminds me of my......ex-husband!

Ouch right in the gut (the power center of the body!) I couldn't quite put my finger on it at first. There were these annoyances that led me to behave in a very old, non-production style..."I was not very nice" and certainly not the "me" I know.

So, there seems to be two schools of thought on the best way to handle these uncomfortable situations:

1) use this situation to learn a new behavior

Here is a process I use with clients:

• what am I feeling? (really annoyed)
• why do I feel this way (I am not being listened to, have to repeat myself)
  
• could this be an old feeling? (absolutely, Dad wasn't too good at that)
  
• new thought and response (this isn't Dad, it is okay to express to this person what my needs are)
  

or 2) stay the heck away from people like that.

I chose the first one and it was very much like marriage counseling again, "when you do this, I feel..." But after I explained to him that it was really important for me to have someone listen, he admitted he hadn't been very engaged. He apologized and I suggested new methods to help keep him focused.

Going forward I am going be very aware of my basic need: to have someone pay attention when talking. If this need isn't getting met, I can choose to make it known to the person otherwise preoccupied or, let it fester until...

So which method do you use when confronted with difficult people? I'd love to hear them.

Deadline approaching

Aug 20 is it.

The last chance to make you reservation for our trip to Belize and our rain forest vacation.

6 other women have make the decision...some of them without jobs, some not sure how they'll pay the balance...but they know that they will return from the trip transformed and there is no price to put on that.

Won't you join us?
Send an email to YourMindCoach@verizon.net to reserve your spot.

We will send you the registration packet.