Or why I don't dance well.
The power of suggestion, a suggestion I received at a young impressionable age by someone in an authority position still has an effect on me more than 30 years later.
What has the message? "It is a sin to dance" that was what I was taught in church. And to this day, I have an inability to relax and really allow myself to feel the beat and move my body.
For awhile I just thought it was a lack of training, coordination and confidence. But I have taken classes, (yoga has helped the most in freeing the body), but last night going to a class on how to Salsa, I was nearly sick at my stomach....but I went.
The result? Well I did it, went through the motions as well as most, but what I noticed I couldn't do was move my arms and hips like the others, they were really feeling it, I was just going through the steps. So on the drive home I began to really think on that and realized I was experiencing the powerful effect of direct suggestion. Now, the conscious mind can rationalize that of course dancing isn't a sin, but deep in the subconscious there is a belief that it is. As a hypnotist I see this in my clients all the time and am always amazed at how a small statement from an authority figure delivered to a children 10 or younger has profound, lasting effect.
Removing the belief.
Beliefs can be changed. I am working on changing mine by thinking that I have never actually seen anyone dancing burst in to hell-like flames, or be otherwise cast-out. They always look so free and happy to me, not at all like they were guilty sinners.
The big sin for me was leaving poor Alec E on the dance floor in high school..I promised to dance with him to that popular Bad Company song and panicked and hid from him...still feel a little guilty to this day about that, so sorry Alec.
Changing that belief will require giving myself permission to make an adult decision about what I want to do (weighing consequences if there are any). And then getting in touch with that free spirit part that knows how to move and allowing her to groove. Dance training and practice are also helpful.
Keep in mind the power of direction suggestion, whenever a person is young and impressionable, experiencing deep emotion, or hurt physically anything you say bypasses the critical factor of the conscious mind and goes straight for the subconscious where is stays until released or transformed.
Showing posts with label hypnosis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hypnosis. Show all posts
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Guilt and overindulging
So a few of my friends have recently expressed guilt over their past indulgences in sweets, comfort foods, booze or sexual activities (okay the first one was mine). Remember this: it matters less about what you are indulging in or why and matters more about how we feel afterward. What pulls us into a pit of despair is our guilt about how we feel about what we have done...not the cake at the bottom of our belly or the empty wine bottles.
I'm not saying to not work on why we are over-enjoying (I'll get to that in another blog), but first let's talk more about guilt.
Guilt vs Shame
Let me make something clear: guilt is about "what you did"; shame is about "who you are."
Also, there is healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt as well as healthy shame and unhealthy shame.
And guilt can lead to shame. In John Bradshaw's book, "The Shame That Binds," he states, "Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits. Like all emotions healthy shame is an energy-in-motion. Like all emotions it moves us to get our basic needs met."
I believe the same could be said about guilt.
Healthy guilt causes us to consider not doing something again, or at least that is how it is supposed to work. But it is a cycle we experience over and over. It seems we never remember that feeling and we are off again in the "land of overindulgence." But, what if when we are feeling guilty, we could just forgive ourselves...just give ourselves permission to enjoy "a little something" from time to time, to partake in the pleasure (as long as they are not coming from a position of harm) without the guilt. I bet you would find that if you usually eat a chocolate bar and your face breaks out, it is the guilt that is causes the break out, not the chocolate. Next time you have a desire for something sweet, enjoy it in moderation and with awareness.
Have you heard of those frozen guilt-free deserts, that manufacturer/marketer was on to something.....now, where are my M&Ms?
I'm not saying to not work on why we are over-enjoying (I'll get to that in another blog), but first let's talk more about guilt.
Guilt vs Shame
Let me make something clear: guilt is about "what you did"; shame is about "who you are."
Also, there is healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt as well as healthy shame and unhealthy shame.
And guilt can lead to shame. In John Bradshaw's book, "The Shame That Binds," he states, "Healthy shame is an emotion which signals us about our limits. Like all emotions healthy shame is an energy-in-motion. Like all emotions it moves us to get our basic needs met."
I believe the same could be said about guilt.
Healthy guilt causes us to consider not doing something again, or at least that is how it is supposed to work. But it is a cycle we experience over and over. It seems we never remember that feeling and we are off again in the "land of overindulgence." But, what if when we are feeling guilty, we could just forgive ourselves...just give ourselves permission to enjoy "a little something" from time to time, to partake in the pleasure (as long as they are not coming from a position of harm) without the guilt. I bet you would find that if you usually eat a chocolate bar and your face breaks out, it is the guilt that is causes the break out, not the chocolate. Next time you have a desire for something sweet, enjoy it in moderation and with awareness.
Have you heard of those frozen guilt-free deserts, that manufacturer/marketer was on to something.....now, where are my M&Ms?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
5/26/09
Valerie A. Grimes
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness
And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
When clients visit me for a hypnosis session, it is usually after they have tried many other methods to relieve their emotional pain and are now ready to work on their failed relationship, addiction, feelings of anxiety or low self-esteem. Our process consists of four distinct phases required to bring about change that must be conducted in this order:
1) Discovery of Cause (Why Do I Feel Anxious? etc)
2) Emotional Release (Giving Voice to Inner Child)
3) Forgiveness (of Self or Others)
4) Re-learning (Placement of new belief system and process for strengthening)
However, where I see progress bogging down is with the third step -- the process of forgiveness to ourselves and/or others. Most clients want to skip the part about forgiveness and just get to the part where their life changes and they can be happy. Not going to happen.
We hear a lot about the benefits of forgiveness through DVDs, CDs, podcasts and books on the subject. But don’t those resentment gurus know how hard it is? Yes, but they also know it is possible, or they wouldn’t suggest it. Holding resentments affect the body’s ability to thrive. And, if one desires to improve one’s chances of being healthy, then releasing this resentment can free the body from stress and give them a sense of accomplishment, as feelings centered around an old experience begin to change. By letting the energy that was tied up in the resentment be redirected toward constructive decisions, one get closer to the kind of life one wants to live. And that is a lovely thing.
Effects of not forgiving
If you are experiencing regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment and sometimes even revenge, it is an indication of the need for forgiveness. If left alone, these feelings cause chemical reactions creating depression, physical ailments, chronic pain and suppression of the immune system. (For more on this, read: “Molecules of Emotion,” by Candace Pert). I have witnessed clients in various stages of cancer, all with the same common negative emotion – resentment. “The Course In Miracles” states, “All disease comes from a state of un-forgiveness.” Our lives just can’t flow freely when we hold onto resentment.
However, through forgiveness therapy, memories become powerless and no longer generate feelings of anger, rate, frustration, depression and resentment.
Making true peace possible.
I can’t confront the person.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the person has to confront the perpetrator; forgiveness exists in the heart of the forgiver.
Emmit Fox created a visualization which places the person you want to forgive on stage, receiving praise from the audience, seeing them happy and full of confidence and sureness -- I’ve used this one before and I am amazed at how the client can get to this point especially considering some of the acts of the perpetrator. But to see one visualizing this person receiving love and praise is almost as if one can feel the room get warmer as the heart melts and opens into a state of true forgiveness. Keep in mind this is a process and it not usually achieved in one or two sessions. (Darn, there is really no magic hypnotic wand). The client only gets to this point after they have released anger and frustration and feel safe enough to do so.
Is the Law of Attraction Working For You?
Positive Self Talk and Affirmations won’t work unless accompanied by emotions that match the beliefs that are already in the subconscious. Orison S. Marden, the father of the success movement, states, “Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” Hypnosis is a rapid method for matching thoughts to desires and desires to thoughts, so the Law of Attraction can work in a positive way.
Hypnotherapy facilitates true healing by releasing buried emotions and gives the client freedom to experience the person they truly are. One doesn’t need to know how, just willing and pick up the phone and call me.
www.valeriegrimes.com
Valerie A. Grimes
Let’s Just Skip the Part About Forgiveness
And Get On To Part Where My Life Changes.
When clients visit me for a hypnosis session, it is usually after they have tried many other methods to relieve their emotional pain and are now ready to work on their failed relationship, addiction, feelings of anxiety or low self-esteem. Our process consists of four distinct phases required to bring about change that must be conducted in this order:
1) Discovery of Cause (Why Do I Feel Anxious? etc)
2) Emotional Release (Giving Voice to Inner Child)
3) Forgiveness (of Self or Others)
4) Re-learning (Placement of new belief system and process for strengthening)
However, where I see progress bogging down is with the third step -- the process of forgiveness to ourselves and/or others. Most clients want to skip the part about forgiveness and just get to the part where their life changes and they can be happy. Not going to happen.
We hear a lot about the benefits of forgiveness through DVDs, CDs, podcasts and books on the subject. But don’t those resentment gurus know how hard it is? Yes, but they also know it is possible, or they wouldn’t suggest it. Holding resentments affect the body’s ability to thrive. And, if one desires to improve one’s chances of being healthy, then releasing this resentment can free the body from stress and give them a sense of accomplishment, as feelings centered around an old experience begin to change. By letting the energy that was tied up in the resentment be redirected toward constructive decisions, one get closer to the kind of life one wants to live. And that is a lovely thing.
Effects of not forgiving
If you are experiencing regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment and sometimes even revenge, it is an indication of the need for forgiveness. If left alone, these feelings cause chemical reactions creating depression, physical ailments, chronic pain and suppression of the immune system. (For more on this, read: “Molecules of Emotion,” by Candace Pert). I have witnessed clients in various stages of cancer, all with the same common negative emotion – resentment. “The Course In Miracles” states, “All disease comes from a state of un-forgiveness.” Our lives just can’t flow freely when we hold onto resentment.
However, through forgiveness therapy, memories become powerless and no longer generate feelings of anger, rate, frustration, depression and resentment.
Making true peace possible.
I can’t confront the person.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the person has to confront the perpetrator; forgiveness exists in the heart of the forgiver.
Emmit Fox created a visualization which places the person you want to forgive on stage, receiving praise from the audience, seeing them happy and full of confidence and sureness -- I’ve used this one before and I am amazed at how the client can get to this point especially considering some of the acts of the perpetrator. But to see one visualizing this person receiving love and praise is almost as if one can feel the room get warmer as the heart melts and opens into a state of true forgiveness. Keep in mind this is a process and it not usually achieved in one or two sessions. (Darn, there is really no magic hypnotic wand). The client only gets to this point after they have released anger and frustration and feel safe enough to do so.
Is the Law of Attraction Working For You?
Positive Self Talk and Affirmations won’t work unless accompanied by emotions that match the beliefs that are already in the subconscious. Orison S. Marden, the father of the success movement, states, “Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” Hypnosis is a rapid method for matching thoughts to desires and desires to thoughts, so the Law of Attraction can work in a positive way.
Hypnotherapy facilitates true healing by releasing buried emotions and gives the client freedom to experience the person they truly are. One doesn’t need to know how, just willing and pick up the phone and call me.
www.valeriegrimes.com
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Why do I feel so anxious?
A client last week asked the question, "Why do I feel so anxious?" He was to the point that this anxiety was interfering with his new relationship and his job as well as decisions about basic human experiences. Anxiety is the habit of exaggerating the possibility of danger out of proportion. The this case, the client had a very old feeling of "the fear of being left alone". And what he constantly did was try and keep people close to him, so he didn't have to experience it (the feeling of being alone). Since he experienced this initial feeling of "the fear of being left alone" at a very early age, it never got an outlet so his body stayed in a state of emergency which resulted in anxious feelings.
What I did in the hypnosis session was use regression to follow the feeling back to the source of its origin, from there, he discovered that the fear was actually unfounded. He realized he was really never left alone. This is the true meaning of the word "phobia"...the fear of the fear.
If you have anxious feelings explore the fact that you can be experiencing the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of criticism. Fear is a warning system in the body and needs to be released. This can be accomplished through hypnosis, insight therapies and perhaps meditation.
What I did in the hypnosis session was use regression to follow the feeling back to the source of its origin, from there, he discovered that the fear was actually unfounded. He realized he was really never left alone. This is the true meaning of the word "phobia"...the fear of the fear.
If you have anxious feelings explore the fact that you can be experiencing the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of criticism. Fear is a warning system in the body and needs to be released. This can be accomplished through hypnosis, insight therapies and perhaps meditation.
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